Long Distance Relationships
I’ve been in several long-distance relationships (LDRs)now and feel confident in saying that I’m getting better at it! By better I mean: the quality of those relationships seem to improve.
I have shifted and reframed my perspective on LDR over the years.
I used to think (what I imagine many others did too):
*within the context of a polyamorous/nonmonogamous relationship structure
LDRs then:
- Don’t Last
- Aren’t integrated
- Less committed
- Something you try once
LDRs Now:
- Could last forever!
- Could have the flexibility to be as integrated or not
- Could be as committed as you’d like or not
- Something you should for sure try if you can!
In a lot of ways, LDRs are quite compatible with polyamorous relationship structures:
Some partners may be more comfortable with the distance.
Digital Nomads need love too!
It could help with having a clear separation between partners, which some prefer.
For those who need more alone or away time, having a partner overseas could be just the right thing for you.
Texting may be easier to time manage than going on dates each week
Allows for perspective and potential gratitude for what you have
Specifically when I visit and when I go back home
Each reunion can be more epic than the last
Some things I know for sure:
You have to be creative with how you show your love from afar.
You need to check in with your partner about what works for them, and what may not work for you. Check-in more than once, these needs change over time.
Some things that work for me:
- Frequent texting and phone calls (audio & video)
- I recently discovered voice notes! Get creative ;)
- Have a shared activity e.g read a book together, watch a show and talk about it
- Come up with daily/weekly/monthly rituals unique to you
- Plan for all your epic reunions like it’s the last time you’ll get the chance!
Long-distance relationships are hard. But no one needs to write a post about that, we all know it. I’m here to encourage those who may be giving up a great person because they may be too far away.
If you are struggling in your long-distance relationship, maybe I can help! Offering relationship coaching for individuals, couples, and groups!
